When my family and I moved from Ohio to South Carolina, I believed deep in my heart, that God had called us to the South. I knew God was blessing us with a brand new start.
However, as the months passed and I found myself alone in a city, hundreds of miles away from home, no job for the first time since graduating from college (more than a decade ago). As I looked around I found a collection of broken dreams falling in around me and there were days I couldn’t even get out of bed.
I would turn the television on for my daughters, set out a snack for them, and crawl back into the bed. I whispered a 3 or 4-word prayer with my head on a pillow and Jesus would come. We would turn on the audio version of the Bible and listen to David’s lament in Psalms until I had enough strength to crawl out of bed and prepare breakfast.
And you know what?
I found Him waiting for me as I hid in the darkness trying to cover my shame and anger.
While I was waiting for a miracle, I found Him waiting for my YES…even if His outcome was different from mine.
It is in those times that I learned a different kind of worship. This worship is raw and it spills out of a shattered heart. Sometimes, it is barely heard above a whisper but it shakes hell and blesses heaven.
It is in those moments I felt the presence of the Almighty God rush in like a flood and lift up a standard against the enemy of my soul. He swaddled me in a blanket of His love, gathering all the pieces of my broken life, and blew them softly back into the proper place–inside His hands.
In those moments I was simply and honestly myself…complete with the raw emotion and lots of snot. I released my fears into the hands of the One who is worthy of my trust. And I bowed low in humility, in pain, in worship because He showed me that He is still good.
In His goodness, He exposed the lies the enemy had whispered to my heart for over a decade.
In His goodness, He held me while I wept.
In His goodness, He would not let me live in self-pity or contempt.
In His goodness, He gave me hope for His divine redemption and plan.
So friend, bring your broken pieces to the One who has the power to replace every single piece.
Raise a hand, or lift a whispered hallelujah, and let the enemy know he can’t silence your worship!
Surrender the shame. Release the bitterness. And choose to worship. Give Him your Yes.
Not because it’s easy, but because your survival depends on it.
From Waiting Well: Caring For Your Heart While You Wait