There are times in my life when I felt like I was in the desert.  I’m not talking about a quick little jaunt over to Vegas. I’m talking the wilderness of Sinai, here folks–40 years around the mountain.

I have been frustrated and grumbling, wandering around, exhausted, in need of sustenance. When I finally, came upon a cool spring, promising respite and refreshment from the harsh sun, I dipped my hands in the pool and put them to my mouth. And tasted sand. I had been chasing a mirage.

Life is hard sometimes. The culture tells us to be happy. And if something/someone makes us happy we should choose it/him/her. When we stop feeling happy we should move on.

Truth is, our minds play tricks on us and our hearts can lead us astray.

Life is like a box of chocolates. And I don’t mean the gourmet kind. I mean the kind that’s been in grandma’s drawer for 2 years and is, in the words of my Poppie, ‘as hard as ‘them streets’. What used to be sweet and decadent now looks like little pieces of charcoal turned white in a hot fire.

What do you choose when all you have to choose from is difficult to swallow?

Joy.

In the desert of my life, I have found a river. A real one. I have to reach way down, sometimes to stir it. I have to be reminded that it’s there and that I am not its source. But when I let my heart remember, I find the respite and refreshment I desperately need and I drink deeply.

It doesn’t mean I don’t feel the pain. It just means I choose not to hold onto it forever. I could choose to remain inconsolable, bitter, angry, unforgiving. But that only saps the little strength I have. I choose joy.

How about you?